When ‘How Are You?” Is Not An Easy Thing to Answer.

Most of people say how are you? or Apa Kabar? to greet each other when the 1st time they met.Mostly, people (in Indonesia) will just answer briefly, i’m good even though they were not. It was just fatigue answer. In the past two months, i was getting used to say those words to most of the people in the camp to actually ask how they feel. First of all, we use that to actually check on each other, mostly staffs, in case something happen during the day. Since a whole month camp become very intense day by day, it changed very fast and it’s important to check on each other everyday. One day, i told one of the staff (i forget whom), i suddenly become very bored everytime everyone ask me those question. I don’t feel like i really needed to answer to those five times a day. But then, when there was a breakdown, kids cried, adults cried (too), someone is sick or anyone really stress, i feel like we really need to express on those question.

I wasn’t really open to my feeling to random people, or people i don’t feel really close. That’s why, i usually just answer “oh yeah, i’m fine. I’m good.” or anything else sounds fine to those who asked. Then i realized, what if they really do care and want to know what i feel that time? I actually kind of person who very explicit about something, but when it comes to feeling, it depends. Then, i try to put on those situation to some of my relatives and friends. It’s not only about greetings, i actually care about some people and i really want to know how they feeling, or is everything okay with their life, but yet some of them didn’t take me seriously. Or maybe, they just don’t want to open up with me. Or they just not ready to open up yet. Maybe.

Another things i learnt from my previous camp, about how we can support others. It came up during the preparation of the staffs before everyone arrived. Then, we put all those words in our staff office a.k.a aquarium. It was right next to me and i can see it every second i sat there. It means a lot that time. How can we support you? By listening to you, by giving advice, by holding your hands or simply quiet time together side by side? Those all the possibilities. And then, if the quiet time together is the way we can support each other, why we have to force someone to talk? or simply force them to answer exactly about the how-are-you question? Well, it’s such an inception moment, but yet it got me thinking, aren’t we all human that once in a while want to hide from those how-are-you question by answer it by those fake smiles or answer?